Then There Was You: A Single Parent Collection Page 15

  “I’ll tell him in the morning,” I verbalize.

  “I’ll be waiting.” Reaching for my face, he cups my jaw, his rough fingers running back and forth, eyes memorizing my features.

  “I still can’t believe you’re here,” he tells me, then drops his hand. I watch him walk away. Hear a few raised male voices on the other side of the fence. They must be the men in the window. His friends.

  Twelve years he’s had in which he met new people, living an entire life without me. I sigh. My breathing is an uncontrollable shamble of flutters, my mind obsessed and drifting.

  “Are you okay?” I shift my fixed stare from the spot where I last saw Riddick standing to Vivian, who’s approaching me with that glass of long overdue wine.

  “I will be. I still can’t believe it’s him. I should have introduced you. I’m sorry.” I take a not so lady-like gulp of my wine. The sweet taste warming my insides instantly.

  “Seriously, Cora, I don’t think you could have strung out a proper introduction if you tried. I’ll meet him soon. When is he coming back?” She sits up and flings her arm through mine. This time, she’s the one to rest her head on my shoulder. I smile.

  “I have to tell Ethan about him. Mom and Dad, too,” I tell her as my mind starts to run away with the actuality that father and son will be meeting for the first time tomorrow.

  “Good morning, sweetheart.” My mom enters my room just as I’m finishing up the last touches of my makeup.

  It took me about an hour to fall asleep after we finished our wine, called our parents, and cried like a baby on the phone with the two of them. All I could think about was the man who was sleeping next door. What was going through his mind? How would he react to meeting Ethan? How would Ethan react to him?

  “Get some sleep,” Vivian finally said to me. I did. Cuddled next to my sister, just like years ago when we first met. Only this time there were no nightmares plaguing my dreams, no sweats or screams by a woman scared out her mind. Peace.

  “Morning,” I say back.

  “It’s beautiful outside, a clear day. A perfect day for a miracle, I would say. Wouldn’t you? Oh, Cora, you look beautiful, sweetheart.” She stops in her tracks, cheerfully exclaiming as she comes into the bathroom, wraps her arms around me from behind, and meet my eyes in the mirror.

  “I’m in a pair of cut-off shorts and a tank top. I would hardly say that’s beautiful, Mom.” I laugh at her silliness, tighten the lid on my mascara, and squeeze her hands as I turn to face her.

  “I don’t mean what you’re wearing. I mean your face, your eyes, your smile, baby girl. You’re at peace.” I was when I woke up. Now, my insides are frazzled. I feel like I could puke, and I’ve stayed up here piddling away for way too long. It’s time to tell Ethan. Every second I wait is one less for him to know about Riddick. I have to tell him now.

  “I’m terrified,” I say.

  “I bet you are. Here’s the thing, though, Cora. The man you love, your son’s father, is alive; and he lives next door. If that’s not an act of God, then I don’t know what is. Now, our boy is out on the beach with your dad. Let’s not waste another minute.” She’s so mellow. Even last night after I told them, she stayed composed while I bawled my eyes out, every word I said registering years of pent-up exhaustion that poured out of my system in the way of tears. She’s always right, always had all of our best interests in mind. Sylvia Shepard is the perfect role model. She has that aura about her that draws you to her. Always digging until she finds the positive in any situation.

  I close my eyes, tell myself I can do this, slip into my flip-flops, and check my back pocket for my phone for the hundredth time. I programmed Riddick’s number into it. Almost shot him off a goodnight text. Changed my mind after remembering him say he was tired.

  I take hold of my mom’s hand, allowing her to guide me down the hall, the stairs, and straight to the beach, where Ethan is skim boarding while Dad watches.

  “Morning, sleepyhead,” both Ethan and Dad say at the same time.

  “Hi, Dad. Morning, kiddo,” I say nervously.

  Dad draws me in for a much-needed hug, eyes alert, and whispers words of encouragement into my ear. “You got this. Mom and I will be on the deck with Vivian.” I turn to see her standing on the deck, a wide grin spread across her face, coffee cup in hand. God, she’s been doing that all morning. I swear her shit-eating grin grew wider every time she came into my room to check on me. Now it’s clean across her face, making her look ridiculously stupid.

  “Hey, bud, come sit,” I tell Ethan after I watch Dad walk to meet Mom where she stopped at the edge of the grass, while I made my way to the two of them.

  “Did you call the surf school?” he asks.

  “Not yet, bud. I will, I promise. I have something to tell you; it’s very important that you listen to me, okay?”

  An expression of concern crosses his tanned face. Instead of sitting, he stands directly in front of me, drops his board, and says, “Is everything okay?”

  “Yes. More than okay. Ethan, do you remember when I told you about your father? That he… that I believed he was dead?” I ask tentatively. My voice is so shaky I barely recognize it.

  “Well, yeah. How could I forget?” His brows furrow in confusion. I need to just blurt it out, rip the frayed bandage that’s been wrapped around my heart for years off and tell him.

  “Do you remember the two men from yesterday?” I ask.

  “Mom, what are you—” he stops mid-sentence. Takes his squinty eyes off of me and trains them to my right. I feel him. Riddick. He’s there.

  “Hello, Ethan.” That deep voice catapults my heart into my throat. My stomach flops and my lungs expand.

  “Mom.” Ethan stands there, bewildered. Slightly panicked.

  “Sweetie, this is your father. Riddick Murdock. He’s not dead, Ethan.” Oh hell, I really did blurt it right out.

  “He’s my dad? Like my real one? You’re my dad?” Ethan eyes him up and down. All of those questions trail one after the other. Ethan’s eyes are wide, and he shakes his head as if he can’t believe it. I can’t believe it either.

  “I am,” Riddick answers.

  “You live next door?”

  “I do.”

  “Well, shit man, you are huge,” Ethan cusses.

  8

  RIDDICK

  “Well, shit,” he says. I’m not sure if I should laugh or wait to see if Cora scolds him for his outburst. When she does nothing, I begin to take those last few steps to my son, eyes on high alert, chest rising with every rapid beat of my heart. His appearance is above and beyond the glimpse I had of him yesterday. Our son is incredible, self-assured, and very protective of Cora. I see it in the way he shifts her way. Gazing down with loving eyes to make sure she’s all right.

  “I’m fine, Ethan; this is a wish I’ve had for you your entire life. He’s real, Ethan. He’s your father.” Pausing mid-step, I wait. I’ll wait forever for this astounding boy to welcome me. I love him so much already. Baby steps. Let him take the lead, Riddick.

  I couldn’t sleep last night; all I kept thinking about was sleeping under the same roof as them. In her bed. The minute I walked through the door, I had to answer more questions than we ask in an interrogation before Jude and Tyson finally left. Both of them were on the verge of breaking down with me after I told them Cora and I decided that the most important thing for us to do first was for Ethan and me to meet. For him to know I was alive, and very much wanted to get to know him. I bawled like a fucking baby, while they stood there in absolute shock knowing that the one thing that sheltered my heart from loving was alive. Now, here I stand with two people who each own my entire heart in a different way. It’s unexplainable, indescribable, and just like that, I feel so alive I’m not sure what the hell to do with it all.

  My focus should be on Ethan, and it is. Yet I’m sick of thinking that all the lies, deceit, and betrayal have to wait. The truth is out, and the wait is over. I want it all in the open betw
een the two of us, deal with it, and try to move on with my family while secretly working out a sufficient plan to destroy the man who left her and me merely existing. I’ll tell her my plans, but my son will never know that I plan on single-handedly killing a man if it comes down to it. Not as long as I live, anyway. Granted, they’re piles of shit everywhere that need to be flushed down the sewer where they belong, but I’m willing to start all over if she is.

  Cora doesn’t know this yet; our talk will come tonight. I’m not waiting any longer to piece my family together. Especially after she told me there isn’t anyone else in her life. The shock of last night was most likely the reason why she didn’t ask if I was with anyone. I wanted her to ask me so damn badly just so I could tell her there never was nor will there ever be another love for me. I hope she knows I wouldn’t have kissed her hungrily if I were involved with another woman.

  And especially now after being this close to the best thing this woman could give me. A part of me and her. My flesh and blood. God, I can’t wait to draw him in my arms, to tell him I’m sorry for missing everything he’s accomplished so far, to tell him he has a friend for life. In me.

  “I believe the correct response should be ‘no shit’,” I say to break up the cold silence between the three of us, to clear my thoughts and make progress. Ethan laughs, while Cora hasn’t moved. Her posture is rigid in this split second of monumental time. Guess I can’t blame her. I’m not sure how much she’s told him about me. I only know that my gaze has been trained on this kid before me ever since I saw him come into my view about a half hour ago.

  I’ve been sitting at my table for hours, my mind in chaos, my eyes flickering back and forth between their kitchen window and this beach, waiting and wondering impatiently when either Cora or Ethan would show up in my sight instead of just in my head.

  The minute I watched him and the man who took in Cora, my eyes remained fixated on my son. The way he walked, the way he smoothly skimmed that board across the water like a professional. Every move he made filled every part of my body with love and warmth. This kid is mine.

  “Sorry for swearing, Mom.” He takes his gaze off of me to look at his mother.

  “It’s okay. Just don’t make a habit of it,” she says, removing her body that has me roaming it all over from the chair. She turns and looks at me with unshed tears in her eyes.

  “I’m sorry. I couldn’t wait.” I tell her the God’s honest truth. Flashes from last night hit me, from me kissing her when I glance from her mouth back to her stunning greens. She is more beautiful in the light of day. More intoxicating than any damn thing on this earth; and if our son wasn’t standing here or if her family wasn’t behind us, more than likely ready to pounce with their claws out in the same way a wild group of stray cats if I do or say the wrong thing, then I would toss her over my shoulder and carry her away to a place where I can take my time devouring her. Every goddamn inch of this woman who owns every part of my will to survive. To live again. To feel.

  “It’s okay, really, it is. I’m going to go tell my family they can leave if they want. It will give us time to talk. Is that good with you, Ethan?” She looks down at him. Christ, he’s almost as tall as her. Definitely going to be towering above her before long.

  “Yeah,” he answers, somewhat uncertainly.

  “I’ll be right back.” We both watch her walk away. I can only imagine how gutted she is, how worried over how he’s taking this. I know I’m freaking the fuck out right now standing this close to him for the first time in our lives. I bet he is, too.

  Silence lingers for what feels like an eternity until he lifts his head and asks me. “Do you know where my mom’s brother is? Is he going to come after her?” Well, fuck me. He’s more like me than I imagined. Protective of the woman who brought us together. Cora has done a damn good job with this boy.

  “I won’t let him near you or her. I promise you he will never hurt your mother again. Not ever,” I stress. I’ll die first for real this time.

  “My mom doesn’t know I know, so you can’t tell her. I think he hurt her before she left. I think she’s still scared of him, too. He made her leave, you know, told her he was going to kill you if she didn’t. She’s, well, my mom thought you were dead. How did you get away? Why didn’t you come find us?” My legs feel like they might fail me. My mouth wants to spit it all out, yet my brain is logical when it tells me I should wait for Cora to get back down here before I say too much. She doesn’t even know her brother’s whereabouts yet; at least I don’t think she does. Hell, I don’t know what she wants Ethan to know and what she doesn’t. A sucker punch to the chest slams into me when I think that this is my child and I should be able to tell him anything, and her fucking brother took that right away from me. The sick fuck.

  “He lied to her and to me,” I tell him and watch his forehead wrinkle in a puzzled expression. He doesn’t understand, because she hasn’t told him my side of the story.

  “Is something wrong?” Cora asks and stops right next to him, lifts his face with a finger, so he has no choice but to look at her.

  “No. I just want to know where he’s been all this time. I’m not mad at him, Mom; you told me none of this was his fault. That your parents were killed; that your brother was the devil and forced you to leave. You said he threatened to kill him and that you were too scared to see if it was true.” I stand there angry as a motherfucker as rage pours through me rapidly. My mind is completely stupefied. A hazy blur of fury is clouding my vision.

  “He did what?” I ask as calmly as I can without teaching this young man swear words that would flip his word ‘shit’ into the ocean. I am going to enjoy every goddamn minute of choking the life out of that motherfucker for doing this to us, every last second.

  Her hand moves from Ethan’s quivering chin to wrap around his neck, drawing him close to her. Everything inside of me is struggling to contain itself not to drag the two of them to me. To protect them both from hurting, to stop this torture that my son is on the cusp of being right at the age of not completely understanding.

  “It’s true,” she says. “At first he told me he was going to hurt our baby, then he’d kill you,” she confirms while trying to stay strong. Her voice cracks with the slightest hint of pain, while my heart just keeps on pounding harder in my chest, ignoring all my pleas to settle the fuck down before I explode.

  “I love you more than anything, Ethan. You don’t need to hear all of this. Not now. Maybe not ever. What you do need to hear is that Riddick thought I was dead this entire time. He was told I was killed. I need you to tell me you’re okay, that you understand that this man standing before you is the man I’ve always tried to keep in your heart with you. Otherwise, I’m asking him to leave until you make the decision of when you’re ready to talk to him. This is your choice, Ethan; I’m not making it for you. Just please know that the minute he found out about you, he fell in love with you. He’s a good man. Don’t let the things that happened deny you the right to know him. Focus on the positive. Your father found us; he wants you, and that should be the only thing that matters.” If I wasn’t sure of the love I had for her before, I sure as hell am now. It’s transparent how much she loves him, how much she loved me, and how in tune she is with what he should and shouldn’t hear. How she speaks to him with assurance, sincerity, and honesty. The way she’s allowing him to make his own choice, a decision that might shatter me but I’ll accept if all of this is too much for him at the moment, if he says he’s not ready to talk to me or to just hang out.

  It’s as if he senses that I’m a nervous mess when his eyes grab hold of mine, the look on his face slightly jumpy.

  “I want to hang out with him. Do you like to surf?” he asks with a smile so bright it lights up his face.

  “Every chance I can get,” I answer with a smile of my own. The cavity holding my heart in place bursts forth from all the pounding my heart’s been doing. God, he’s a miracle. And he wants to hang out. With me.

 
“Sweet! Mom, can I grab my board?” He looks up to her, eyes pleading.

  “Of course,” she responds, tears forming in her eyes once again.

  “Yes!” Pumping his fists in the air, he takes off in a sprint, but then stops to turn back around.

  “I have two boards if you want to borrow one. You’re kind of big for it, though.”

  “I have one,” I say, while not denying the happiness that’s bursting out of my heart. It’s been jailed for so long. Now, in less than twenty-four hours, it’s finally been freed. Forever.

  “Man, this is so cool. I have two badass parents.”

  This time I can’t hold in my laughter; it springs loose that even the scolding language and yelling as Cora threatens him as he runs to their home doesn’t make it stop.

  “You’ve done a good job with him, Angel. He’s perfect,” I say the minute he disappears into the house.

  “He is. Except that swearing.”

  “Eh. I don’t mind being called a badass, do you?” I chuckle.

  “I do when it comes out of his mouth.”

  “If he calls you a fucking badass, then I’d worry,” I say, allowing more laughter to escape, then turn to study her scowling face.

  “Don’t be teaching him any of that.”

  “The boy cares too much about you to disrespect you that way, Angel. It’s not hard to see you mean the world to him and vice versa. Something tells me he knows how far he can push you. He loves you. I couldn’t have asked for a better son if I chose him myself, and I’ve spent all of five minutes with him. He’s also protective of you. So am I.” Without giving her time to respond, I trail right into what else I have to say. “I’m not waiting to talk, Cora. If you’re free tonight, will you meet me out here? I want everything out in the open. All of it.” She closes her eyes, her breathing becoming rapid. When she opens them, they are filled with regret, remorse, and apprehension. So much of it that it has me grabbing her hand and tugging her into me. Jesus fucking Christ, she feels good there, up against me where she belongs.